“Will Nobody Have Compassion On My Poor Nerves?” by Elaine Owen

“Will Nobody Have Compassion On My Poor Nerves?” by Elaine Owen

Mrs. Bennet is one of Jane Austen’s most memorable characters. Clearly Austen wants us to laugh at her histrionics and her constant, blatant husband hunting, and we feel sorry for her daughters when her antics push away eligible suitors. But we are also frustrated by her lack of manners and wish she would at least try to discipline Lydia once in a while! Does Mrs. Bennet deserve laughter, scorn, or some other reaction? Let’s make a list of her good and bad qualities.

We might as well start with her bad qualities because, let’s face it, they’re what we know the best.

  1. Mrs. Bennet openly plays favorites with her daughters, preferring Lydia and Jane over the others.
  2. She is a terrible judge of character. If Mrs. Bennet likes a particular person it’s likely there is something seriously wrong with them. Think Wickham and Collins here.
  3. She has no filter. She openly (and loudly!) discusses gentlemen’s incomes in public, and she doesn’t try to conceal her opinions of other people’s looks and manners even when they can hear her.
  4. She is mercenary. She is more concerned with how rich her daughters might be after marriage, rather than how happy they would be.
  5. She is self-centered. There is no family drama that can’t be made worse by her sudden fainting fits, palpitations, and pains in the side.
  6. She has little self awareness, contradicting herself frequently.
  7. She spends too much money.
  8. She does not try to control or correct her daughters’ wild behavior, which almost brings about the family’s social ruin.

But Mrs. Bennet has her good points as well.

  1. She is practical. She knows that her daughters must have a way to support themselves by the time their father passes away, and she is determined to make that happen.
  2. She’s friendly. She likes throwing a party and attending events organized by others. Networking is important when you’re trying to get your daughters noticed by eligible men!
  3. She herself was successful in the marriage market. She made a good match with a wealthy member of the gentry and married out of the working class. You go girl!
  4. She may be a shameless gold digger, but at least she’s doing *something* to try to secure her daughter’s future. That’s more than we can say for her husband!
  5. Speaking of husbands, when Mrs. Bennet’s husband openly ridicules her (for shame, Mr. Bennet!), she does not respond in kind. In fact, she sometimes praises her husband when he exerts himself on behalf of their daughters.
  6. She’s observant. She knows when her daughters have caught a young man’s eye, and she usually judges their interest accurately.
  7. She appears to be the only member of the Bennet family who recognizes the absurdity of the entail that requires a male heir. “I do think it is the hardest thing in the world, that your estate should be entailed away from your own children; and I am sure, if I had been you, I should have tried long ago to do something or other about it.”
  8. Against all odds, she eventually succeeds in her mission: her two oldest daughters marry rich, handsome men! Let’s face it: if she hadn’t managed to get Jane and Bingley alone together, would they have ever gotten together on their own?

Considering all these things, I think it’s fine to laugh at Mrs. Bennet a little bit, and perhaps even cheer her on in her husband hunting, at least when she’s not embarrassing her daughters. She may be silly and shallow and yes, sometimes vulgar. But she definitely wants what is best for her daughters, and she is willing to go to some lengths to make that happen. Here’s to all mothers who want only the best for their children!

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October 24, 2021 1:07 PM

I like Mrs Bennet as she is very relatable as she reminds me of a few people in my life. I really dislike the way she’s treated by Mr Bennet.

September 12, 2021 10:47 PM

Thank you for this enticing post.I do agree, with all that is her (and her defects) I do believe she just wants her children to be stable (esp when the parents are both gone). She knows the horrors of what becomes of some women during those times when in hardship.

Cheers to all the Mothers!!!

Mary A Coble
Mary A Coble
September 12, 2021 11:15 AM

Above all Mrs Bennet loves her daughters and tries to ensure their future security. We cannot fault her that although her methods are not always best. Some JAFF have portrayed a different Mrs B (good and bad,) but it is the original that we remember. It is the original which has given us the story we love.

J. W. Garrett
J. W. Garrett
September 9, 2021 9:17 AM

Mr. Bennet may not go to town because he knows Mrs. Bennet will NOT fit in that exacting society. Visiting Cheapside is one thing. Taking in a Season is something completely different. He keeps her at home in their small unvarying society where everyone knows her and, for the most part, ignores her. She has one way of looking at things and her way is best, in her mind. However, she was willing to change her dislike for Mr. Darcy when Elizabeth announced they were engaged. Her dislike was not etched in stone. I think maybe Elizabeth got her stubbornness from her mother. LOL! Thanks for sharing.

cindie snyder
cindie snyder
September 9, 2021 7:33 AM

I agree, here’s to Moms! I think it is ok to laugh at Mrs. Bennett too! She has good qualities and can be very funny!

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