P&P & :) by Kirstin Odegaard

P&P & :) by Kirstin Odegaard

A few months ago, I posted some P&P text conversations, and for this post, I’m giving that another go…again with P&P. This is totally and completely because I love that book and not at all because I couldn’t think of anything clever for the other books.  Like last time, assume I’m about a decade behind in the text lingo.


Bingley: Are you so excited for the ball tonight?

Darcy: Meh.

Bingley: The Bennet sisters are going.  I heard they’re so hot they can smoke a beehive just by walking near it.

Darcy: OK, where did you get that? Did you make it up yourself?

Bingley: What are you wearing?  I’ve changed my outfit like five times already.

Darcy: Or did someone in this town say it to you?

Bingley: I’m going with my grey jacket.  Final answer.  Unless you think I should wear the black one?

Darcy: Someone in this town did say it, didn’t they?  See, that’s why I told you to check the area out before you just up and move here.

Bingley: Nm.  The grey jacket makes my shoulders look weird.

I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?

I mean, it’s not like I’m going to meet the woman I’m going to marry tonight.

Darcy: Did you even look for a place in Lambton?  No one talks like that in Lambton.


Collins: Hello wifey!

Lizzie: I told you not to call me that.  We’re not getting married.

Collins: LOL!

Lizzie: I totally hate it when I say something serious, and you say LOL.

Collins: It’s cute the way you throw your womanly authority around before our marriage.

     But Elizabeth? It won’t be cute after our marriage, FYI.

Lizzie: That’s why we are NOT getting married.

Collins: LOL!


Bingley: So??  What happened??

Darcy: She said no.

Bingley: No?  To you?  But you’re so rich.

Darcy: That’s what I said!

Bingley: You didn’t.

Darcy: No, of course not.  I just said I was richer than her.

Bingley: Darcy.

Darcy: What?

It’s the truth.

I’m richer than you too.  I don’t see you getting all mad about it.



Collins: Hi wifey!

Charlotte: Hi.  I’m helping Maria with something right now.  I’ll talk to you later.

Collins: Bye wifey!


Darcy: So I fixed everything.

Bingley: She said she wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on Earth.  How did you fix that?

Darcy: I wrote her an email!

Bingley: Really.  What’d you say?

Darcy: Well, first I told her not to worry that I was going to propose again since that made her dry heave last time.

Bingley: How romantic?

Darcy: Right?  Reverse psychology!

Bingley: What else did you say?

Darcy: I said this one thing that I can’t tell you about it.  But it was really good.  Then I said this other thing that, oh.  I can’t tell you about that either. 

Bingley: And then?

Darcy: And then I put a cat meme because who doesn’t love a good cat meme?

So?  What do you think?

Bingley: Uh, sounds like you nailed it.

Darcy: Yes!!  Should I book the church now or wait a day?

Nm.  Just booked it!

Thanks for reading!  I love comments, and every psychological study says it’s super healthy to define my self-worth by them, so comment away!

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16 Responses to P&P & :) by Kirstin Odegaard

  1. I think Mr Collins definitely needs a thesaurus, he only seems to have a couple of things in his repertoire!
    Bingley needs to be confident in his original decisions and commit to them!
    Darcy? Hmmmm! Well he seems to have achieved perfection by the end, now I just need to know which church to go to? 🙂
    I love these, keep it up!

    • And what if Mr. Collins discovers emojis? What a new can of worms that will open!

      Thanks for chiming in.

  2. Can’t talk now, laughing too hard.
    That was hilarious. Thanks for sharing. I do believe you could do it with other Austen books. My mind is going crazy with nasty… um… interesting things to say to Mrs. Elton or Mary Crawford. Seriously, you should think about it. Oh, Sir Walter would be fun. And Lady Russell… see?! Oh-My-Gosh! Ann de Bourgh and her mother. LOL! Isabella Thorpe is such a trollop, she would be saying one thing and meaning another. I have to stop. Fanny Farras and her mother are always open game. Mrs. Jennings is such fun to play with and she is always game for gossip. STOP! I get carried away. Sorry. This was fun. Thanks for giving me my giggle for the day. Blessings.

    • Oh, those are all great ideas. I need to revisit those books and get the inspiration flowing.

      Glad it gave you a laugh!

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