Elizabeth Bennet’s Bad Days WIP #2

Elizabeth Bennet’s Bad Days WIP #2

Oh, my. I had hoped to be further along than I am with EBBD. In the beginning when I first started writing fiction, I was a pantser. Pantser? That’s a term for writers who write by the seat of their pants. No real outline; just an idea of what the story is about. Some authors write very detailed outlines, when done, that have about half the book written in just the outline.

In the beginning, writing as a pantser worked really well for me. I’d start writing and just keep going. However, now that I’m working on improving my writing and still keeping a bit of Jane Austen’s style of writing, I find I’m looking at things  and doing them a little differently as well. Hopefully, the end result will be better and more interesting Pride and Prejudice variations.

I have written a couple of books with detailed outlines that were easier to write using those outlines as guides. Recently, though, I’m finding I’m having trouble doing the outlines, so I’ve decided to do briefer outlines then hit the pantser road…again. Wish me well.

Since I’m still working on Chapter III, I’m going to give you a scene that will appear later in the book. Enjoy! 



Scene from EBBD as the Netherfield party leaves Meryton

Elizabeth stood at the edge of Oakham Mount and watched as the carriages were loaded at Netherfield in preparation of going to London for the winter.

He’s leaving, and I’ll never see him again.

Her heart clenched at the thought, and she absently rubbed at her chest.

When did I fall in love with the taciturn individual? It certainly wasn’t at the assembly when he insulted me and I did the same to him in return. Elizabeth choked on a half giggle, half sob.

At Netherfield when I cared for Jane? No! He and Bingley’s sisters had too much fun discussing my family’s flaws. At this thought, she frowned and recalled how angry she was at inadvertently overhearing the elements of their despicable discussion. Mr. Bingley was meeting with his steward and never heard how his family denigrated the Bennets. Perhaps that is just as well as he might have turned away from Jane if he learned how much his family disliked and despised mine. Jane might never have become engaged to him.

Smiling as tears began to fall, she contemplated how happy her elder sister was to have become Mrs. Bingley. Although she and Jane were best friends and had shared a bedchamber for all their lives, Elizabeth was ecstatically overjoyed for her sister. Oh, how I will miss her. But I know she is deliriously happy, and I wouldn’t take that away from her for anything.

The Bennet family was not perfect, but they did love each other. Although her mother tended toward Lydia and Jane as her favorites, Elizabeth always appreciated Mrs. Bennet’s charitable activities and the household training she gave to all her daughters. She knew her mother and father were flawed and failed in some areas with their girls, but she also acknowledged they wanted the Bennet sisters to marry well and be happy.

As she continued to watch the activities at Netherfield, Elizabeth strained to see if Mr. Darcy was riding in his carriage or on horseback, but the distance was too great to put a name to the small individuals in sight. Eventually, all three carriages were loaded, and the servants gathered on the porch to bid the travelers a safe trip. Elizabeth was unaware that all the staff was relieved that they wouldn’t have to deal with Miss Bingley ever again as mistress. They looked forward to having Mrs. Jane Bingley in residence in the near future as they knew her to be a gentle, courteous young woman that it would be a pleasure to serve. If Elizabeth could have seen their faces, she would have noted a smile on each one.

She did observe when the carriages started up for the trip to London and felt her heart drop when the last one disappeared from sight. By this time, her tears were flowing heavily as she knew that Mr. Darcy was gone for good and would probably never return. She didn’t blame him. Though she now knew her love for him blossomed when he saved Lydia that day, she also knew that her sister’s actions would have disgusted the man and would be cause for him to never come to Hertfordshire again.

Foolish girl. He’s the only man you will ever love, but it’s too late. You came to the knowledge that he is the best of men way too late. Stubborn, foolish, foolish girl!

Elizabeth heard nothing but her sobs for the next few minutes as she drenched her handkerchief. Finally, she acknowledged there was nothing to be done except to go home and try to mend her broken heart.

As she began wiping away her tears, she startled and jumped to her feet when a voice behind her said, “Elizabeth.”

Don’t ask who it is that says her name because I haven’t decided who it will be. THAT will depend on how the rest of the story goes. Not sorry for another cliffhanger. 🙂

But before I go, I do have a question. Although I don’t have all the title, author, etc. on the following book covers, do you think that any of these might work as a new cover for Darcy Chooses. Please let me know your thoughts. Thank you.


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August 7, 2022 4:41 PM

Thank you for sharing this. I would loved it if it is Mr. Darcy who had spoken her name 😉 and would dread it if it is Mr Wickham (though Mr W should be with Lydia at this time) eagerly awaiting this story so I can read what happens next ???

I do love the last cover – as it seems he is really choosing( choosing someone who has some hesitancy).I prefer books with covers relating to the title and the story.

Caryl Kane
Caryl Kane
August 3, 2022 7:28 PM

I’m all astonishment!

August 3, 2022 8:30 AM

Please let it be Darcy! Please! Surely he’s the only one not of her family who would call her by name? As for the covers? I prefer the first two (although I picture Elizabeth with darker hair than picture two).

Stavis Adelle
Stavis Adelle
August 2, 2022 11:27 AM

Writing is hard.
An acquaintance, Diane Chamberlain, writes contemporary fiction. She has said that sometimes when she gets stuck, it’s a matter of a character wanting to act differently or go another path than originally planned. Have you ever had that experience?
Thank you for the excerpt! Very much looking forward to it’s release.
And I much prefer the third picture. Darcy is described as having chiseled facial features, so boyish softer features never strike me as ‘right.’ And though modern hair is what is available from models, the longer hair looks a little more period, even if the beard scruff does not.

cindie snyder
cindie snyder
August 1, 2022 9:02 PM

Good luck on your book! I think I like the first cover the best too. Loved the excerpt!

August 1, 2022 8:17 PM

Good luck with the book, I look forward to reading when it’s released. I like the first cover best.

Linda A.
Linda A.
August 1, 2022 8:17 PM

I agree with J.W. On all counts. Except, it sounds like Bingley and Jane are married, so he isn’t in one of the carriages.

Definitely the single guy. My immediate thought with the female on the cover was Caroline, too. Not sure why we all think she is a redhead. Not all of us are like her!

Kirstin Odegaard
August 1, 2022 2:54 PM

Oooh, great cliffhanger. Very fun excerpt–and I enjoyed hearing how your writing style has changed over the course of your novels.

I like the first cover best! The third one is my second favorite.

Thanks for sharing it!

J. W. Garrett.
J. W. Garrett.
August 1, 2022 12:15 PM

Cliffhanger!?! OMG! You just left me hanging! Dang! LOL!

I love that scene. And this was an excerpt from later in the book? Help us all. Goodness, whew! I may need my salts after all.

Well… there are several possibilities. The fact they addressed her as Elizabeth limits the possibilities.

I could be her father. Yeah, right. I can’t see him stirring from his bookroom to seek out his daughter. Nor her mother. She wouldn’t walk that far.

Please, for the love of, not Wickham.

It could be her sister, Jane. Although they share a room, at this stage, they have separated somewhat emotionally due to Jane’s new joy as an engaged woman. She loves her sister but Charles will come first in her concerns now. If it is Jane, she could attempt to comfort her younger sister. The reason I question her… Elizabeth’s proper name was used. Jane would probably have called her Lizzy. Or due to Elizabeth being upset… she could have used her proper name. Whatever.

It could be another sister. Possible but not likely. However, the sisterly dynamics would be changing at Longbourn. Allegiances and affections would shift due to changes with the sisters.  

If it’s Darcy, you can pretty much bet he is going to want to know why she is crying. Or he may already know. If it is, then this could be a very romantic scene that would cause me to swoon, grab my fan, tissues, or my salts. Heavy sigh.

As to the cover… you have three beautiful choices. I love the guy in the first picture. The colors and that background are amazing. Whew! I am concerned about the model’s red/auburn hair in the other pictures. It makes me think of Caroline Bingley. I’m sorry. I couldn’t help it. If her hair were darker, I maybe could accept that it was Elizabeth. The model shown has more of what I’d consider the English Rose complexion. That is certainly not Elizabeth. Their positioning in the third picture is really good.

Then we have a beard or an unshaven gentleman in the last two pictures. I’m not sure Darcy’s valet would allow him to leave his room without a shave. LOL! It gives a more rogueish appearance. If his master was going for an early morning ride before breaking his fast, I could see it. However, since they were heading to London, so I don’t think Darcy would travel unshaven. I do like his hair.

Three carriages. But, whose carriage? We could have Bingley, Darcy, and/or Hurst. Did Hurst even travel in his carriage or did he ride with Bingley? Probably rode with Bingley. Of course, Darcy would have his carriage. Then we could possibly have a servants’ carriage with the maids, valets, and additional luggage. So, we are still uncertain. She did think one was Darcy’s carriage.

There is another option. If Darcy had decided to choose Elizabeth, then his carriage could be sent back to London to retrieve Georgiana, Mrs. Annesley, and Richard [if you use that name]. They would stay at Netherfield with him. That would mean Darcy did not intend to leave Netherfield until his business with Miss Elizabeth Bennet was settled.

Oh, dear, there I go on a tangent. I’ll just have to wait to see what you have done. Blessings on all your hard work. I wish you all manner of success with this new story. I look forward to reading this. 

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